As some of you know, I had been pretty down for the last month. The month of April was rough. I let my apartment become a disaster, my ankle was hurt so I stopped exercising, I hated going to work every day because of the adjustment to my new counterpart, and my SPA grant that I worked so hard on did not get approved this time around. Even an amazing quick trip to Turkey and a couple fun nights with volunteers couldn’t snap me out of my slump here. I really just let myself be a sad panda for a month.
BUT DON’T WORRY I’M FINALLY ON MY FEET AGAIN! – Literally.
After downloading 50 new songs and throwing myself a 3 hour long dance party last night, I got up early today to do morning yoga, taught 6 classes, ran a little over 5 miles, and did 3 rounds of a strength circuit. I’ve also been writing Albanian poetry, and I turned in another grant application. I have a very busy month coming up, but I’m ready for it now. I also have a fitness training plan to get this neglected body ready for bikini season (Uhh or at least back into my pants again).
It was really difficult to be sad for a whole month. I didn’t cry at all, but I often sat alone in my house with just me, my thoughts, and whatever pot of food I was eating. My neighbor literally told me that she thought I died in my house. However, in a sense, I needed that. Just like my ankle, I needed time to heal. ß Haha I can’t type that too seriously, but you know what I mean.
I had a couple days in the month where 1 good thing would happen and I would concentrate so hard on that 1 thing that I would think the slump was over, but then it would just reset to “shitty day” the next morning. However, that month is over and now it is BIRTHDAY MONTH! I know things are changing for the better because I cleaned my house. That sounds weird, but the cleanliness of my house is directly linked to how I’m feeling. Some of you might think… “Well, then keep your house clean, you lazy mofo.” It’s not that easy for me. I have to be feeling good and motivated to clean. Well, I mopped and scrubbed the shiz out of this place. And I feel great! I’m also excited to be up and running again and to be more involved with work again. I’ve also sprung back into being the little social butterfly around Milot that I’ve always been. I have a lot of cool things to look forward to this month including: School excursion to Kosovo, finding out if my grant gets approved, presenting at the counterpart conference (with my old counterpart), welcoming the new volunteers to their sites that are by me, 1st Ultimate Frisbee competition, and my birthday!
Although I spoke with some wonderful friends who really showed me their support through this time, and I’m so grateful for them, I have to say the choice to perk myself back up was mine alone. I feel good about myself and more independent now. Peace Corps has truly given me the opportunity to learn more about who I am.