For those of you who didn't know, I am now in a relationship…
A relationship between me and Albania, its people, its
culture, and its language. On the other side of that I am exchanging myself, my
culture, and my language. As in any
relationship, there is learning/growing, commitment, and passion involved. I
allow myself to be vulnerable here because I think relationships are all about
taking risks. I believe this is a healthy relationship and is extremely
fitting for where I am in my life right now (my early 20s). It is much like
those who are currently in a relationship with their studies, business, or even just life in general. While Albania and I may not be together forever, I
will never forget the journey within this experience.
To prove this statement, I’d like to share some of the most
recent exchanges between me and Albania:
1. Project Design Management Workshop (PDM)
All of the volunteers in my group and I attended a
conference in Tirana with (most) of our chosen counterparts to learn how to
build a project. This workshop was wonderful for many reasons. First off, we
had hot showers… which was a mega plus for me. 2nd, we got to see
each other which is always nice after some time apart. 3rd (And this is probably the most
important—though hot showers tend to dominate my mind) was that my counterpart
and I really gained an understanding of how to make a project. It’s definitely
not as simple as I imagined. There are intricate details and jargon that I hadn't
thought of and a project proposal/grant is kind of a piece of art. You have to
have structure and appeal, and now my counterpart and I are super excited to
begin our project to build an activity room in the high school because we
strongly believe in our abilities to be strong and appealing. Although I am
here to help Albanians understand how to make a better Albania, I myself am
learning how to begin projects anywhere in life. I feel like the training here
is truly priceless education.
2.
Language
My favorite part of being an English teacher is seeing my
students improve. I have mentioned this many times before in my blogs. However,
although I don’t have a tutor, my Albanian (shqip) has improved a lot as well.
After official testing at the PDM Workshop, I learned that I am now at an “Advanced-Mid”
level of the language which means I am 2 levels up from where I started at “Intermediate-High”
and am 3 levels away from the highest level of Albanian, “Distinguished.” I am
most proud of the fact that I can switch on and off using Milot’s Dialect and
the standard Albanian language. My goal
is to finish my service at least one level ahead at “Advanced-High,” and I
intend to get there by beginning to study Albanian grammar. I feel that
language has definitely helped my relationship with Albania grow stronger, and
culture and integration are currently the 2 elements of my PC service that I am
the most satisfied with.
3.
Real Life and Tragedy
So now I've spit out a lot of good things about
this relationship, but we know there are always little bumps along the way.
Recently some extremely sad/scary events have taken place here. My counterpart’s
best friend’s father died while fixing a window. The latter he was on was
unstable and he fell to his death. Shortly after there was a random attack on a
bus by the city of Tepelene and a man proceeded to rob and murder people on the
bus. Lastly, a boy from Milot (and my School Director, Host family, and
Landlord’s cousin) was squished by a heavy piece of iron that fell on him and
also died at only 21 years of age. I personally did not know any of these
victims, but am extremely close with those who it affected. Hardest of all was
speaking with my 17 year old landlord’s son (who is also my best friend in
Milot). What can you possibly say to a 17 year old boy whose cousin has just
died in such a terrible and traumatic way? It is hard enough to talk about
feelings with any teenager or in my experience with any boy. On top of that my
language is just not good enough to really express what I want to say. I told
him I was there if he needed someone to talk to and that he shouldn’t feel
ashamed of any feelings he has. Sometimes life incidents being you back to the
reality of things and for me it was remembering that life still goes on-tragedy
and all. I get to see how people here participate in life events such as weddings,
engagements, graduations, births, but along with those come sadness and death
as well.
To bring this post to an end on a less depressing note, I’d
like to just banter about my thoughts on life right now. Oh wait… also I want to mention that my
neighbor has been out of town for 2 months and therefore I have not had a
washing machine to use, and because it is winter, hand washing clothes is not
only painfully cold, but the clothes dry too slow and collect a mildew-ish
smell. Yummm. Ok back on track to my thoughts! I think it’s really important
for people to do some good solid self-reflection. I have actually been somewhat
self-critical lately in a negative way, and I finally have begun to come out of
it. At the Tirana conference we also had some IST training and overall Peace
Corps-ish activities and in one of them we had to write down our 3 biggest
struggles/stresses here. Most people had written something along the lines of
1) Loneliness 2) Integration and 3) Language, but mine were completely
different. They were 1) Cold Showers 2) Acne 3) Weight gain. I was originally
disappointed in myself because I felt like my struggles seemed to be a lot
lamer and more superficial than everyone else’s, but then I realized…hey, that’s
the truth. In order to combat these struggles,
I really had to give myself some self-love and compliments (my favorite)! As cheesy
as it sounds (and this is super cheesy), I really began to feel that for each
physical flaw Peace Corps makes me stress about, I also get a compliment for each
of those gosh darn inner beauties. I love helping people. I love going out of
my way to make my friends feel special. I am generous with my time, energy, and
money. Realizing these things really brought me back up, and although un-showered,
pimpled, and a little heavier than the NCAA athlete I once was, I am completely
satisfied with myself. J
And now… photos:
My Counterpart and I at the PDM workshop in Tirana
